I have never been a huge fan of Valentine’s Day. I am not against celebrating it, however, I feel like it shouldn’t be the only way to measure how much somebody cares for or loves their significant other. Valentine’s Day can sometimes be stressful and full of outrageous expectations. I feel like you should express your love to your significant other all the time, not just on one commercially-driven holiday.
Growing up I would give and get gifts and/or cards from friends and family members. It was sweet and harmless. No big expectations. No broken hearts. No problems. But when you get older it becomes this big deal (for most) and often comes with a lot of stress.
I celebrated my first romantic Valentines Day when I was 16 years old with my first “official” boyfriend. He bought me roses a teddy bear. To celebrate we listened to music and ate a meal together. There was some peer pressure here and there about what he was required to do but it probably helped to better prepare him to be a Valentine when he became a man.
Since then I have gotten gifts, flowers, teddy bears and meals given to me on this “special day.” As a woman you do not have as much pressure about what to do or buy, the men have to deal with that – from friends, family, their woman and society in general. I feel bad for them sometimes. The women usually just deal with other people’s opinions. “Oh, so what did he plan for you?” None of your damn business.
I have dated men that just straight up did not want to celebrate the day. I am a bit of a romantic, so of course it bothered me a little but I wasn’t angry like how some women get. They told me ahead of time how they felt about it. But I know on Valentine’s Day men often show out a little more so it is nice if they decide to do something special for you.
Last year the ex & I were both really busy so we didn’t celebrate until a couple of days later. We had dinner together and then went out with family for someone’s birthday. It was nice. He didn’t buy me anything special but I also didn’t expect him to. He always showed me how much he loved and adored me so Valentine’s Day wasn’t that big of a deal to either of us. Would I have loved a big celebration full of gifts? Of course. But it was not the end of the world.
It is cool to celebrate Valentine’s Day in a big way but it is also alright if that is not your style. However, depending on your mate you may want to find out ahead of time their thoughts on in so that you don’t leave them angry and/or disappointed.
Women often take men not wanting to do something special on that Valentine’s Day as them not caring about THEM when it is not anything personal. Some men were not built/taught to be romantic and others have been romantic in the past and got taken advantage of and/or not appreciated so they choose not to provide that extra romance in their next relationship. Either way sucks for a woman that enjoys romance. If a man is ready to be more romantic he will find a way. He will seek guidance and listen to tips from others but a woman cannot force a man into it.
So if you have someone this Valentine’s Day, I hope that you lead with your head but don’t ignore your heart. You don’t have to break the bank or do something over-the-top in order to prove your love for someone. Even if there is pressure from outside sources you just need to do what makes you and your partner happy. Just make sure the person that has your heart knows that you DO love them and you DO care. It is just another day. Spread that love out, there are so many more months in the year left.
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