Tag: love and relationships

How to Get Ready for a Dick Appointment

Hello. Sooo… you came here because you either thought this was going to be a funny post or a serious one. Or perhaps you really want to know how to get ready for a dick appointment. Well ladies (and fellas) – here you go. This is my take on how to get ready for a dick appointment.

Hair

You want your hair to be cute, however, remember that it may end up a mess after you roll around in bed so keep that in mind when you style it. Slick it back, bring an extra rubber band and brush in case you need it later. You pretty little naughty gal.

Nails/Toenails

Make sure your nails are nicely filed as well as your toenails. You don’t want to hurt your partner with rough edges and talons – unless he is into that. Go for a glow in the dark mani or some other pretty color – he probably won’t be staring at your nails, however, just in case.

Hygiene

GIRL – Wash your entire body. Wash every curve, crevice, hole and so on. Top to bottom! Don’t miss any spots. Use a pretty scent if that is your thing – but WASH YOUR A$$ (and your vagina too)!

Shave or wax under your arms, your legs and your lady bits. If you don’t shave or wax your lady bits you can always give it a nice trim if you feel the need to do so. Make it look fabulous and edible.

Lotion and/or powder your body with your favorite scent but don’t overdo it – you don’t wanna smell like a cheap hussy for your appointment.

Brush your teef and bring a mouth wash or mints along just in case you need to freshen up later. GARGLE UP GIRL.

Makeup

Use sweat/water proof makeup if you can so that it can stay on when you’re getting wild in bed. Use a good setting spray so you can remain cute as long as possible. Or – just don’t wear any makeup at all. A pretty lip may turn him on if you know he is into lipstick or lip gloss on you.

Attire

You can pretty much wear anything depending on how long you have known this person. However, for best results dress slutty. Kidding – dress in some sexy and comfy attire that is easy to toss on the side once he is ready for business. Trying to take off a million zippers and buttons is so not sexy ladies – unless he is into a long unveiling.

What to Bring

Full set of extra clothes (you can keep that in your car). Condoms. Lube – if you think you may need that. Mouth wash – in case you know what happens (GARGLE, GARGLE). Some enthusiasm and a great personality (HA!) A brush and rubber band may also come in handy before your walk of shame.

I hope this helps you a bit on your quest on how to get ready for a dick appointment.

Some of the links in this post may be affiliate links which means I will earn a small commission (at no additional cost to you) if you decide to purchase something featured here. This commission will be invested back into hertaintedlips.com as well as help me buy a cheap bottle of wine or some Starbucks. For more information please read our disclosure page.

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A Craving For Love

Can you believe it is already June? This year has been going by so extremely fast. My birthday is coming up next month and I am so excited. Mainly because I get to celebrate another year of life but mostly because I get to celebrate it with the people I care about the most. This year there are a handful of ideas I have about how I want to celebrate. I may do one or two of them or maybe even more.

One thing that makes me a little sad is that I won’t have a date for whatever I plan to do in celebration. Last year during this time I was stressed out from work but I had my ex there supporting me and being that person I could turn to. Things were going well in the romance department and I really did not see us breaking things off a couple months later.

Don’t get me wrong – I have no problem being single, however, I really, really miss having that special person in my life to make memories with. That person I can turn to for support and advice. One that loves me and sees in me more than I see in myself. I miss having a place to run to when I feel I have nowhere to turn.

I miss being in love. I miss date nights and beach days. I miss lazy Sunday’s together. I miss being goofy. I miss getting my ass kicked on video games because I have no clue what I am doing. I just miss it all.

I am patient about it yet there are moments where I just get frustrated and want to know when is it going to be my turn again? I see relationships around me starting, struggling or even completely falling apart and I want to be a part of something. I want it and I need it. You can even say that I crave it.

My last relationship was one one of the healthiest ones I ever had and I feel like that is why I crave being in love again so much. With breakups in the past there was a lot of anger, hurt, frustration, confusion and even sometimes rage. I mourned over what I felt I lost and I built walls up that the next guy that came along had to tear down. But with this last one I feel like it was so good and it wasn’t extremely horrific at the end.

So I want to start over – even though it scares the shit out of me. My ex filled me with so much love and hope about what a relationship could be. I want to share all the love that I have inside of me with someone else. I want to share the best parts of me with someone and I know the next time it will be so beautifully blessed. I know that person is out there and craving what I have to offer. I am just waiting for the Universe to align us in a way that we both recognize it.

Some of the links in this post may be affiliate links which means I will earn a small commission (at no additional cost to you) if you decide to purchase something featured here. This commission will be invested back into hertaintedlips.com as well as help me buy a cheap bottle of wine or some Starbucks. For more information please read our disclosure page.

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